I thought I was a patient person. I thought wrong.
Waiting is hard. It’s especially hard when you have zero control over the thing you are waiting on.
Right now, I’m waiting on lots of things. I’m waiting on people… I’m reminding myself that people have lives. Busy lives. Probably busier than mine… I’m not at the very top of everyone’s list of priorities, and my needs don’t come before their own. What I need might be waaaay down on their to-do lists, and even though it’s super important to me, I might just have to wait. I do have to wait, actually. I have no control over anybody, or their circumstances. Remember that, Alicia. People are people. People with lives. You have to love them and respect their time. Just because folks don’t instantly do your bidding doesn’t mean they don’t respect you or know what you need from them…. (but on that note, have you clearly communicated your needs? You can be pretty bad at that, you know.) Relax, and be patient. Be patient. (I am being very repetitive, because I need to have a kind of mantra over here.)
My life group is reading James. This past week, our focus was on patience. The Lord’s timing? Probably. “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The judge is standing at the door!” (James 5: 7-9)
And so I wait. I wait for updates. I wait for approvals. I wait for references. I wait for the day we can bring our child home. I’m waiting to see how things pan out for Chris and all he’s doing. I wait, but am far from patient. My blood pressure is rising as I wait. I’ve been lucky to have little blessings to help with some of the wait, but dang, it! At what point do I get the hang of this patience thing?