Whose Tears are These?

Sometime in the wee hours between Thursday and Friday, Austin came down with a fever. Because, you know, that’s what weekends are for, being sick. So he stayed home with me on Friday and I attempted to work, care for him, run an errand, and cook. All in all it was an OK day. Austin was super whiny and clingy, but he was pretty quiet and easy to keep entertained. Not a whole lot got done, but my child was cared for, and really, all that matters. 

Chris is going to be at an out of town bachelor party until sometime tomorrow. Normally, an night without dad wouldn’t worry me too much. My parents are close by, and even as ornery as my toddler can be, I am his mother and can handle him. But add to that that he is still sick and super cranky, and I start to fret just a little. 

This morning, I brought Austin downstairs to get breakfast ready while his dad packed. First I started with the coffee. Putting him down instead of carrying him on my hip made him lose his cool, so I put him on the counter so he can watch, which quells the oncoming storm.  He played with the things I had lined up on the counter and then suddenly- he throws up and is sitting in a pool of clear stuff that came up from his belly. Fabulous. Back upstairs we go.

After he is cleaned up and dry, we head back downstairs. I grab a banana and peel it. Instead of just handing it to Austin like I do most mornings, I broke it in half so that I could use some of it in the oatmeal I was preparing. Apparently that was the WRONG thing to do. Austin had a meltdown. I mean, he ran away from me, crying and screaming, and stood in a spot yelling and glaring at me. So, I put the banana down and grab another one for him to eat. I peel it, and… no good. He’s still pissed at me and won’t stop crying. But he also wants me to hold him, now. So I can comfort him while he screams in my ear. Joy.

I distract him by sitting him down on the counter (again) while I prepare the oatmeal. That calms him down a little. But then he wants to help. So oatmeal is scattered all over the counter, Austin is crying because his plastic fork doesn’t cut the banana, and I end up putting too much water in the bowl. I don’t mind my oatmeal a little runny, but by the time I added my cream to it, I wondered if this was going to be a disaster, since I knew my child who is still mastering the art of using a spoon, would be feeding himself. Well, I found out soon enough, because Austin’s stirring suddenly changed to feeding, and he dripped hot oatmeal on his leg and screamed. It wasn’t scalding, but it was definitely hot. Poor baby.

By this time, Chris has made his way downstairs and he is trying to help me calm the child and finish with breakfast. Austin won’t stop crying and screaming, and it occurs to me that I will probably be dealing with this a lot this weekend- by myself. Tears flowed. I hate to admit that I was already crying at 8:45 in the morning, while my husband was still home to help, but I guess after a full day of just me and the cranky kid, a crazy morning, the thought of the rest of the weekend being like that just overwhelmed me. I calmed down and sat down to eat with Austin, and he was not pleased with any of the choices of silverware i had in front of him, and the screaming and crying continued. With coughing and gagging, and me reaching to catch throw up that thankfully never came. Chris came to give me a hug, and that just made the tears flow again. I wasn’t sobbing or anything. I was just sitting there, being held, with tears streaming down my face. Austin just stared at me, and then I suppose he thought Chris must have been hurting me, since i had tears, and he started crying, too. Gah. He’s sweet, but really? So I had to console him, show him that I was ok, wipe my tears, and hug and kiss daddy to show Austin that daddy wasn’t hurting me. We were a mess this morning, let me tell you.

So, it is now just after 11, and Austin has been dressed, we went for a walk, and he is finally napping. I’m hitting the shower after this is posted- determined to make the most of this weekend. But, I’d appreciate your prayers just the same. Thanks!


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