About two weeks ago I had written that there was a possibility that we might have found a little girl to adopt, and that we were waiting to see if we’d be selected as her forever family. Since the time we inquired about her, and especially after we had asked for your prayer and support, I have had so many daydreams and scenarios play through my head. I’d try to imagine who this little one was and how she’d change our family. I pictured all kinds of things about this “new family” in my mind. I knew that there was not much we could do to influence the decision makers at this point, and was trying hard not to get my hopes up. But, I always hold out hope, because without hope, we’re hopeless.
Well, I asked about her again this week, and was told they’ve identified an “adoptive resource” for her. They didn’t choose us.
I’m told that if anything changes, they’ll be sure to let us know. But of course, I don’t want anything to change. This little girl is that much closer to having a family to call her own- how on earth could I want things to change course for her? Yes, I am sad that it didn’t work out. I had come up with plenty of reasons why this match was a good one, even with the tiny about of information that I had. But it’s really OK. I’m OK. We’re OK.
We know that the Lord is going to change our lives with the adoption of a child (or children) someday. He is already working in our lives and changing things, and we just need to let that happen. When He decides it is time, it will be perfect. So, I am working on letting go, and trusting in His plan. I have so little control over any of this anyway. Trying to maintain a firm grip over a situation that I just can’t control, doesn’t do anybody any good. And we’re not in a rush. I have to keep reminding myself that I can’t always want to keep the wheels in motion and try to mark off the little check boxes beside each step in my plan. My plans and my hopes have nothing on what He has for us. And so that is what I cling to as we continue to wait.
Thanks for your prayers.